coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
