i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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