Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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