thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
They have beer where we have blood.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
