pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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