you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
