wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
