office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
