we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize