You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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