He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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