hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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