What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
