Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize