I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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