Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
