so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
