chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
