Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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