Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
