thus making me awesome and them whores
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
