No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
