i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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