I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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