No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize