Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
