why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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