OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
