His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
