The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
