New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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