Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
