I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
