i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up under a house in Key West
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
