they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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