I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
