I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
