Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
