I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
