If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
