Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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