how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
