my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
