Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
