So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
