Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
