I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
