Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
