It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize