last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Randomize