If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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