I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize