Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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