yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
