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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I love you

  (720): View more from Colorado

  are you drunk

  (440): View more from Ohio

  yes but I def love you, we should get married

  (720): View more from Colorado

  But I'm Jewish

  (440): View more from Ohio

  embrace Jesus

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who is canola oil?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're an idiot.

  Fav 64 3493 1299

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.

  Fav 23 7633 1293

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits

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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am

  Fav 4 1216 1953

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?

  Fav 5 1049 930

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.

  Fav 1 1040 555

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• (979): View more from Texas

  It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.

  Fav 2 179 260

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.

  Fav 0 44 7

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