no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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