i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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